Frustrated

Not a squeak from the other agents I sent info to.
It's been a while now.
Long enough to read an email.
I hate that they don't even send a form response.
Just leave people hanging.
Wondering.
I read somewhere that a 'shall remain nameless' good published writer had to send to 10 agents before one chose him.
I suppose that is a good thing for me.
It's tough retaining the confidence that I started out with.
I also read, I do a lot of research, that a good writer will never wonder if their work is good.
Bull-crap.
You may have to write to free yourself of a story or idea in your head, but that doesn't mean it's any good or that you wrote it well or worse, that anyone would want to read it.
People say, don't worry about what others think, do what you want or do what you love.
Well, when you write stories or music it's for others to enjoy, so of course you would care or worry about what others think.
That is kind of the point.
I did go back to Colin and put some more info in. Not sure it was enough or not. Have to think on it some.
Holiday weekend. I know I'm not going to get any writing in now.
So be it.

Incomplete

Sorry about yesterdays post. I meant to get back and finish it up but before I knew it, it was time for bed.

I did a little work on Colin this morning. I hope to get back to it shortly.

On a completely different rant.... I am so sick of what they are doing to vampires!!! These books and movies and shows SUCK!!! Pun intended!!!!!
What happened to really great EVIL vampires? I swear I will write a really good vampire story! It will happen!

Well...

...my BFF emailed me yesterday. She FINALLY read my book.
Sorry BFF, gotz to tell the truth on the blog.
Although it took a while for her to get back to me...when she did....she said she loved it!
I don't think that BFF reads a ton of romance novels, so when I was feeling pretty low and unsure of the book, I sent it to her to get her opinion.
She read it and gave me a few ideas to boot to work on. She thinks the male lead character didn't get enough screen time. I could probably work a few more pages in for him, he's so cute after all.
I had really wanted to send her a signed copy when it was all said and done, but I was too chicken to even email it to agents then.
When I hadn't heard from her, I thought maybe it did suck and I was crazy for thinking about sending it out.
Once I said to myself, I better not send it, that pissed me off and I started to send it anyway.
But...still no word from the others...

More patience

Wrote a little this morning, want to go back and do some more.
Trying to get some domestic jobs done first. I hate those and they are ganging up on me.
Haven't heard from anyone else yet.
One can only hope they are all enjoying my letter, synopsis and first 50 pages!
One can dream.
Wondering when I might begin to publish this. I thought maybe if I got a positive response I could.
We shall see.

Sunday morning

I finally told the SO that I sent everything off to a bunch of Agents. I didn't want to get his hopes up, or mine for that matter, but I thought he should know what was going on over here at the laptop.
After getting the fourth note back from an Agent, which said 'i don't feel strongly about your work' I felt maybe I should re-do the query letter a little.
Maybe it didn't sound like I felt strong about the work either.
So, I did re-write it a bit. I think it sounds a little fuller if that is way to describe it.
I know most of these replies are 'form' replies but if that was a hint, I wanted to take it.
I think that means I sent it to a total of 13 Agents.
My SO will be proud, I created an Excel database to keep track of who I sent the work to and when, etc. That way I don't duplicate and I know how long they have had the letters.
I did some looking around about contests. Turns out that there are only a handful of reputable ones and I missed most of them for the year already. I don't know if any of them take a story this long anyway.
I checked into some smaller publishers but a lot of them are not romance friendly.
Self-publishing is always an option but not sure I have the juice for it.
If I get the majority of responses back as 'nay' I think I might print it out once more and hand it to one or two friends I know and see if they think it's worth perusing the market any further. I have been reluctant, up until now, to do that, but I really don't want to waste more time if they might say, this book sucks.
One Agent mentioned that the length of the book might be too short for most publishers. I keep thinking about where I might be able to add a significant section, like 6000 words, to nudge me over the 60,000 mark. I haven't come up with anything yet that makes sense.
Haven't been able to write much recently. Can't concentrate.
Maybe after I write this.

4 down 6 to go!

Well, I spent a considerable amount of time sending query letters to prospective agents yesterday.
With the one that I had already sent I have emailed a total of ten.
I have heard back from four saying, thanks but no thanks. That's okay.
At least my letter is out there.
Maybe the query letter is too boring.
I could take a look at that. See if it could use some sprucing up.
If I hear back from the majority of these agents then I might start sending out by paper.
It's a pain when you have to print and do envelopes and stuff.
I thought I would be more upset with the letters but they are all written very nicely that I can't take fault with the agents. They know what they are looking for, just like I know when I look at their sites whether I want to send to them or not.
I'm sure I will be less picky soon.
I know I think my book is precious but maybe I need to put it out somewhere for others to read and get some feedback.
Lots of people are talking about creating a fan base so that agents and publishers know that you are serious and already have a following.
Not sure if I am completely comfortable with that yet.
I think I will check into some contests though. See if I can submit for any of those.
Moving onward...

Shaken

It's amazing to me how a stranger's words can just shake your confidence.
I should just delete my post on the forum I joined for writer's and never look back.
He wasn't mean or anything but his words keep looping in my head.
Something like: 'Ask yourself why you want an agent? Do you think you are that good?'
WTF?
Of course I did, before I read your post.
Of course all writers think they are good until they get their first rejection letter.
Just like all the waiters in Hollywood think they are actors.
Like all the bartenders in Nashville think they are singers.
Well, I'm a part-time data entry slave who thinks she's a writer.

Thanks dude. Way to f**k up my day.

More research.

Not tonight

I am burned out.
Didn't have a chance to write yesterday or today.
Didn't have a chance to send the query to anyone either.
I did write the shorter synopsis 2 days ago.
I asked my SO to read it and he said it was pretty good.
It's only 2 pages vs. the 5 and change that I had already done.
Tomorrow I will send it out to some more agents.
Promise.
I really need this.
Even a rejection would be of interest.
I could at least say that I tried.
Until tomorrow.

Idiot

Yeah, I'm an idiot.
I was wiggin' out about not hearing anything from the agent I sent the email to so I got on a writer's forum and asked people when did they think it would be okay to move on.
Why do I talk to people?
I don't know.
I immediately got argumentative with the nice people who responded to me.
Cause I'm an ass.
Luckily I didn't write half of what I thought back to them. But I did thank them for their time.

So many people make assumptions. They don't answer your direct question, they think you need background info, or worse, info about them, so they can help you understand.
Nope, I just wanted an opinion about a time period, I don't need to know about your novel or your website. Just tell me a week is good, or 2 weeks is better, whatever.

Did some more agent hunting. A bunch of them want a short synopsis so I re-wrote, again, and made mine 2 pages.
I have no idea if it's any good and I really don't want to send it to my 2 family editors. I think they are sick of the book and maybe me at this point.
I know I'm sick of me.

Didn't get much writing done and I should be working right now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Tired but...

Tired but had a great weekend.
I'm supposed to be doing other work but I want to write. I will just take a gander and see if anything sparks.

Sunday

Have plans for the whole day today so I won't have a chance to write.
Doesn't mean I won't think about writing.
I have two scenes that I still need to figure out how to mesh together so maybe I can think about that today.
Need to work for actual money the next couple of days so I won't be able to write then either. It's okay to just put it aside for a few days and come back fresh anyway.
My weakness is to just keep re-writing what I have done instead of forging on and getting more completed.
Fear of writing the unknown.
Sounds kind of funny.
Anyway, no interesting emails or phone calls. Pretty sure I wouldn't here back on the weekend.
I feel like I am going through crisis steps.
Shock - Pain - Anger - Depression - Acceptance
I know for sure that I am a good writer. Not a great writer - not a crappy writer.
How do I know I'm not a crappy writer? Cause I have read books that are crappy and they were published. So I know that there are different degrees of being a good writer.
I just want someone to read my story and say, that was good, I liked it.
I don't need gushing but I certainly don't want people to be bored by it either.
When only your family reads it, you don't get back an accurate idea of what they think. They tell you what they think, but it's never what they really think.
I have thoughts of just putting out there on the internet but not sure that is the best way to get feedback either.
Calm, must be more calm.

Saturday morning

Well, I managed an hour and a half of uninterrupted writing before the house began to stir this morning.
Starting to fill out the pages that I already started on.
I didn't notice that I wrote like that till recently. I like to write the dialogue and then go back and talk about what happens during the dialogue.
I think I would only write dialogue if it was possible. Let someone else fill in the when, where, how, etc.
Lazy, I know.
I read an agent's submission guidelines the other day and it said basically don't bother to send me anything unless you are completely serious about the writing craft. That you have studied and worked and read and gone to classes, etc.
Statements like that just shake my confidence completely.
I didn't study.
I didn't go to college.
Of course I read. I used to read a lot more than I have time for now though. I had a different book everywhere, at my desk, in the car and on my nightstand.
But I didn't know writing romance novels would require me to have a Bachelor's Degree in anything.
Then again, maybe I wouldn't struggle with some of my writing if I had gone to school.
It's a tough one.
College just wasn't for me. I had so had it with school by the time I graduated high school that I just resented college when I started classes.
And that is no way to learn anything.
Oh well. We will just have to wait and see how it goes.
Still no interesting emails or phone calls.
Tick, tick, tick...

Friday

Did some more writing this morning. Made the 4 pages into more like 7. Not too bad.
Need to do some more thinking about how to get these couple of sections that I have written together. I don't always write like that but instead of waiting to write what I thought about and maybe forgetting some of it, I wrote it down right away.
Wait and see how that goes. It's not unlike me to just cut, cut, cut either.
I had to do some research today as well. Quick spells on the inter-web to find info so I don't sound like I made stuff up.
Nothing by email or phone to speak of. Disappointing but not unexpected.
I may have said that already.
Someone told me I should wait at least a week so that would be this coming Monday. Fair enough.
But I bet these guys don't work on the weekends.

Productive

Well, I wrote about 4 pages of the new book in long hand, which I normally don't do. But my laptop is no longer portable, and I wanted to sit outside, so I had to use paper and pen.
I'm pretty sure it won't be 4 pages when I type it up. That's okay.
I haven't written that much w/ a pen in a long time. Really since school. My hand cramps pretty quick now. I have some damage from cracking knuckles and excessive typing. It was kind of fun though.
Years ago a friend and I would write a story together. I would carry the notebook for a few days and then give it to her and back and forth. I don't know what became of those stories. I know that most of anything I kept of my own I did throw out in one of my many moves.
It's not that I would use them for anything, just to look back and see what I was writing about back then.
Mostly Duran Duran and Miami Vice, I'm sure.
Another friend recently mentioned that she has some of what I wrote. I need to buy her a drink and get that back.
Still no interesting emails from any exciting agents.
Surprise, surprise.
Well, I better get to transcribing before I lose all interest for the night.

On the third day....

...nothing.
I know I'm jumping the gun here. It could be weeks, if ever, before an agent might respond. They have a long list of emails that come in every day. I know. I do!
I'm just so inappropriately impatient!
And I wonder, since I didn't follow every detail of their submission guidelines, if they just dismissed me out of hand.
I tried to send exactly what they asked for.
Query letter
First 10 pages
Detailed synopsis
But when I tried to email the whole thing, cause they wanted it all in the 'body' of the email, their address kept kicking it back to me.
I tried twice.
Then I cut the first 10 pages and it emailed fine.
I did put a note in there explaining what happened, and that I would love to send them the 10 pages or even more, if they want me to.
I hope they didn't just scoff and say: "She can't follow simple email directions, she will be impossible to work with! DELETE!"
Harsh. But possible.
Some of the agents websites were downright unfriendly.
YOU MUST CONFORM!
YOU MUST NOT SEND ME ANYTHING TO READ!
JUST THINK ABOUT YOUR BOOK AND I WILL SEND YOU A REJECTION LETTER VIA MY EVIL MIND!
Okay, not quite that bad, but a little scary.
So I will wait some more. No big. I'll just go write something else like a good girl.
*Sigh.

Short novel description

Setting the Record Straight
Colin Campbell is a talented, attractive rock musician who travels home for his sister, Kerry's wedding.
Riley Kincaid is a beautiful, small town veterinarian, Kerry's best friend and bridesmaid.
Oh, and she really hates Colin Campbell.
Colin has his own world rocked when he at lasts confronts Riley and learns why she has despised him close to ten years.
With the telling of her painful secret comes a chance for forgiveness and redemption but their new tenuous relationship must survive the launch of a rock tour, a controlling manager, interfering parents and their own constant struggle with trust and commitment.

It's been like almost 2 days!

So, I wrote a romance novel.
I don't know if it's any good or not, but I like it.
It took quite a while to finish it. I wrote the words 'the end' at the end of Dec. 2009 or Jan 2010. Can't exactly remember. But I had plenty of re-writes after that anyway.
I emailed the query letter and the synopsis of the book to my first agent 2 days ago.
Well, not even. It was like almost 8 at night when I finally sent the email. I shouldn't expect to hear from them for days or ever for that matter. They only respond if they want to see more.
I was really surprised to see that agents were as rough as editors. I thought agents were supposed to be more open minded than editors/publishers. But they are just as hard with all their rules.
I'm mostly rambling. I get that. I really was looking for a chat room or forum to anonymously go on and rant and rave, but I couldn't find one.
That left me with ranting on this new blog.
I may not ever tell people about the blog but I feel better just writing this stuff down.
I'M FREAKIN' OUT!
I sent a book to an agent!
WHAT was I thinking?
I hope someone besides me likes it. I forced some family to read it. They said they liked it, but they are family after all.
I don't want to tell too many people about sending to an agent in case I get the rejection letter. Worse, they don't even send that. I may just have to wait weeks before I figure they don't want more and then send to someone else. I don't know how long I would continue sending it out, maybe 3 rejections would be enough to see the light.
So I guess that is it for right now.
Hoping.
Fingers crossed.