ME: Honey, go into your office. I need to write.
HIM: Why don't you get the first one published?
ME: I'm trying. I need to hear back from HQN. I can't send to the e-publisher I want w/o hearing back from them.
HIM: So, call them.
ME: Who? HQN?
ME: I don't think you're supposed to do that.
HIM: I'll call them. I could be your agent.
ME: I'll call them.
So, I called HQN in NYC.
A human answered on the third ring!
ME: I thought I would get a machine.
HER: How can I help you?
ME: I sent a query w/ synopsis back in June and I was wondering if there was any way I could find out what happened to it?
HER: Attention to?
ME: MRS. X
HER: Her office is in Canada. They probably sent the letter there.
ME: Oh. I got the info right off your website.
HER: Do you want the Canadian phone number?
ME: Yes. Thank you.
So, I called HQN in Canada.
A human answered on the second ring!
ME: Hello. I sent a query w/ synopsis back in June to the NY office address but I had the attention of MRS. X on it and they think they might have forwarded it to Canada.
HER: I'll transfer you to MRS. X.
HER: Just a moment.
MRS. X's VoiceMail: Please leave me a message.
ME: Hello. I sent a query w/ synopsis back in June to the NY office but I put your name on it and they may have forwarded it to you. I was just wondering if anyone knew what happened to it? Please call or email me if you have the time. Thank you.
I'm such an ASS!
The UNIVERSE only knows what the FRAK happened to my stupid letter!
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!
I was so careful. I did my research. I had a database. REALLY!
How the hell did I screw this up?
Maybe, cause they know I'm dumb, they sent it to Istanbul.
Maybe, for those special letters like mine, they have a huge hole drilled into the Earth's core and they just chuck them down into the fiery hot magma.
Maybe they folded my letter in half and they are using it to keep their desk from wobbling back and forth.