Monday, February 21, 2011

Writing along...singing a song...



There should be fucking bluebirds flying around my head the last few mornings.

I am writing! 

YEAH!! 

*Trumpets Sound*
*Cymbals Crash*
*Wild Applause Breaks Out*

Okay, no big deal to you but if you have been reading my blog for any length of time you would know that I have had some major writing blocks recently.

Like the last six months, recently.

It doesn't take much. Altered schedule, temporary insanity, reality, stress, empty coffee pot...and soon I am bitchin' 'n' moanin' that I can't write.

I want to write but I can't.

And then, Caine came along. I do like Caine. I don't 'like' like him...well, maybe a little. But, I am completely obsessed with him. I'm thinking about him all the time. What he's going to say. What he's going to do. What he looks like. What he sounds like.

And I'm wondering if that is what has been wrong with me all along. 

My first story about Colin, well, I was obsessed with Colin too. I had carefully created him for many years from bits and pieces of wonderful rock legends. He was my ultimate rock star and I was his ultimate fan.

Picture the Bruce Springsteen video from the eighties where he picks the young and beautiful but unsuspecting girl from the audience to dance on stage with him during the song. We all know now that it was an actress and she was paid to do that but wasn't that the best fantasy? Was I the only one who concocted an entire love story for them after they left the stage?

So, obsession. Perhaps that is what actually motivates me to write. Perhaps my last two male characters haven't been 'all that and a bag of chips' and I'm not obsessed enough with them. Perhaps I need to work on those guys some more, make them more interesting and appealing to me, so that they will be the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night.

I can't tell you what a small but important breakthrough this has been for me. I always assumed it was the story idea that fed me but now I guess it's simply ... the guy.

And truly...I'm okay with that!

While waiting patiently for the end of February to come to find out about the Amazon/Penguin Breakthrough Novel contest I just read Rachel Firasek's blog post from Kendall Grey called The Five Stages of Contest Grief. Wow. Very funny and very true.

For too long I have allowed others to determine my self worth with their opinions. I will always care what people think about my writing but I shouldn't change what I do or how I do it just because of them.  

11 comments:

  1. Glad you're inspired and writing again. And I think bluebirds are extra.
    You're just one away from 100 followers!

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  2. There's a process of insanity in ANY venue where you have to put a bit of yourself out there.
    There's a lot of people involved in that competition. I'm querying - so the stress is there... just different.

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  3. Alex - Thank you. It is wonderful to be writing again.
    Well, if the birds are extra I'll have to live without them.
    Thanks for visiting!

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  4. Jolene - I have no real illusions about my entry for Amazon. I sort of sent it on the rebound from getting a rejection from an e-publisher.

    On a much happier note...thank you for being my 100th follower on the blog! I appreciate that you took the time out to come see me, comment and follow. I hope you come again and I can continue to entertain you!

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  5. I'm thrilled you are writing again and it's okay to be obsessed, just don't let it stop you from moving on to other projects!

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  6. Ellie - Thank you and I hear what you're saying.
    I appreciate the visit.

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  7. 102 here - I thought I was already following you. Oh well You are now bigger than Dalmations - great job!

    I hear a ton about writers block. Other than farmville I don't seem to catch it.

    Check out my post on character FBI files - See I think what your calling obsessing over the guy - is simply you know him best. You are learning him - dating him right now so to speak. You have to do that with all the characters before you write about them. It is hard to keep them in mind and separate if you are sitting in a room full of strangers. 90% of that stuff will not ever make it into the book, but if it's in your mind somewhere, your characters will never say something that you don't understand - they will still freak you out from time to time - but you will just smile and write. Also - daydreaming is writing - if your dreaming - you're not blocked - just not writing with your fingers

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  8. Thanks for stopping by, Heather. I'm very happy you're back to writing. I've never quite figured out why, but sometimes the mind's gears get stuck. A bit of insanity? Yep, probably, as I know the feeling, and wait for bluebirds to chirp.

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  9. Congratulations on getting past your block.
    I'm your newest follower.
    bethfred.com

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  10. HowLynnTime - Thank you. I have recently considered writing up character profiles but I haven't started yet.
    It's not unusual for me to obsess over guys. From actors and musicians to TV characters. I just didn't put it together with my writing.
    Thanks for joining us on the fringe!

    Kittie - Hello to you and thank you. I hope I can share my bluebirds of happiness around the blog-o-sphere then!

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  11. Beth - Thank you and welcome. It feels great to get words on the page.

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