Do you know what is pathetic?

Do you know what is pathetic? 

Pathetic is doing the dishes instead of writing today.

I did lots and lots of dishes.

If there was ever a chore I hate more than dishes, I have yet to find it. I mean, I have some nasty chores around here. Two litter boxes for the cats. Tons of laundry. Two men to clean up after in the bathroom. And I still hate dishes the most although I'm not really sure why.

So, when I opted to do the dishes instead of writing I just knew it was going to be a bad day.



Had a really full but pleasant long weekend. Saw lots of friends on Saturday. Watched the husband's softball game on Sunday. Went to the Memorial Day parade on Monday. Then off to see some more friends.

Really, who could ask for more than that. Lucky, that is what we are. Lucky to have so much and we are thankful for it. 

Anyone else get to enjoy a parade?

5 yr. old with his father's uniform hat.

A new course and Memorial Day.

I have registered for Angela Jame's online course Before You Hit Send Self-Editing Workshop.

Here's the course information.

Angela James is the executive editor of Carina Press, Harlequin's new digital-first press. 

I sent them a query letter awhile back and got a 'thanks-but-no-thanks' letter in return.

I have contemplated taking this course before but the timing has been off. This one runs from July 11th through August 1st.

Also, I wasn't sure I wanted to spend the dough but I saw that Ms. James said on Twitter that right now the course is $35 but will be going up to $49 on Tuesday so register soon. So I did. 

Additionally, I do believe the tax advice I received this year was to save my receipt and I will most likely be able to write the course off of my taxes next year.

What do I expect to get from it? Lots and lots. I'll let you know.



As for Memorial Day...

...I am a big fan. But, it's not about the BBQ's. It's not about the store sales. It's not about fireworks. It's not about the beach.

Memorial Day honors the men and women who died while serving in the American military.

Take a few minutes this weekend to think about them.

On Monday go to a parade.
Wear red, white and blue.
Clap the whole time.
Buy a Poppy Flower or two and don't skimp on the donation.
Place a flag on a Veteran's grave.
And don't forget the national moment of remembrance that takes place at 3:00 p.m. local time. 

We owe it to those who paid the ultimate price for our freedom. We owe it to our Veterans and active military members.

Have a safe Memorial Day weekend.

Letters

Dear Past Me,
You have really big trust issues and low self-confidence. An English teacher in high school told you that you were a good writer. I wish you had believed them. I wish you would have considered college, thought of it as a haven instead of a continuation of your crappy high school years. If you had even told one person what you wanted maybe your life would have been different. 


Dear Future Me,
Congratulations on all of your success! You ROCK! I just knew you could do it. Glad to hear about all of your books being published and readers around the globe enjoying your words. I even heard there may be a movie deal! It's amazing. I hope you enjoy every moment. 


Dear Present Me,
Get off your lazy writing ass and finish what you started.

I've got nothing. Nothing for sale!

Sorry folks, I have nothing to post today.

I hope you are all having a marvelous day whatever you might be doing.

I'll talk to you, hopefully, on Wednesday. 

Perhaps by then I will have something useful to say.

HMG

Zombies...just a little bit of awesome.

I'm kind of old-ish so I have seen a lot of Zombie-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it movies.

A lot.

Lately there has been a renewed interest in Zombies in books and movies. 

No, I don't know why.  ;)

If one was interested in living through the Zombie Apocalypse one might need the right information and certainly the right tools.

Earlier this week the CDC put out some great information about being prepared for any situation including the Zombie Apocalypse.


SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!

Then I found these AWESOME articles.

Best Car to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

AND

The First Zombie-Proof House. 

AWESOMESAUCE!

I'm sure if I did some more research I could find everything you might ever need to survive but these are just a few of the basics!

So, good luck. See you on the other side.



In case you didn't already know, fellow blogger Wendy Tyler Ryan, has published her first book... 

Fire's Daughter. Fire Through Time: Book 1.

Congratulations WENDY!!!

I'm so happy for her and wish her the best of luck! Go check her out!

What I take for granted...

Sometimes I forget how precious our lives really are until something just awful reminds me. 

I read so many tragic stories.

Someone lost a loved one.
Someone died of a terrible disease.
Someone went off to war and never came back. Someone walked home from school but never made it.

And I hear it so much that I forget to feel for the people left behind. The ones that have to endure the pain. The ones that suffer through the agony alone until it builds them or breaks them.

I forget to mourn. To cry for the living. Because it hurts too much. Because its easier to ignore it, bury it and move on.

I forget to take that extra moment to laugh with my family. Smile at my son. Steal an extra hug from husband before he leaves the house. Call my parents.

I take for granted that I will be here every day. That I will eventually do all the things that I want to do. That I will have the time.

Because there's always tomorrow, right?

Tidbits and ideas

My husband had a softball game on Sunday with his volunteer fire department.

First it was on, then off, then on, then off again. Needless to say the other team needed to forfeit.

But our guys were dressed and ready to go so we hauled our stuff to one of the parks so they could get some practice time in. 

Ended up another group of guys were there practicing (drinking) and they had a game against each other.

Got to love Sundays. 

My point? Oh yes, let me get back to my point.

I brought with me a notebook and I spent the majority of the 'game' writing down ideas and some dialogue to help expand my story.

I would like to add 5000 words to make it an even 60,000. I know this doesn't sound like a lot but its a simple romance novel not an epic fantasy.

It was nice to sit there, listening to the sounds of my friends and family all around me having a good time, writing down tidbits and ideas. It was relaxing.

Here are some of the comments I get when the boys walk by and see me writing:
-Writing some love notes, Heather?
-Whatcha writing? Your husband's honey-do list?
-Are you keeping score?
-Making a shopping list?

Granted, most of them don't know that I like to write smut, but its typical of these guys to think that I would spend my Sunday making a shopping list.

Back to my point...that is the new plan. Find some areas of the book that could use some expanding and...well...expand.


What did you do on Sunday?

Interesting...

On Friday I decided to destroy my first chapter.

So, I did.

It was difficult. I have been looking at those first pages...forever.


But...it's done.

On Friday night we went out to eat. This was in my fortune cookie.

And that's all I have to say about that.


 

Updated - One Year Blog-versary

UPDATE: Thank you, Blogger! You erased all my lovely comments. To all of you that took the time to comment yesterday, thank you. I wish I could have read them! So be it.


In other news...I butchered the first chapter of Setting the Record Straight. 
Which means...I wrote today.
Thank you, Universe!




 

One year.
One year today, May 12th.
One year and 177 posts.
One year and 178 followers.
One year of you guys listening to my nonsense.

You guys ROCK!

I took a look back at my first post. I know I am currently living in naiveville but back then I was sooo completely clueless.

It just never occurred to me that I wasn't any good.

I've made some great new friends! Yes, you!

I've been a part of some great bloghops, blogfests and challenges.

I've learned many things. Some important, some not. Some very painful truths.

It's all part of the process, right?

I'm not giving up. I won't. I know I don't suck...all the time.

I just have to find the right way, for me, to accomplish my goals.

What are my goals?

Write something awesome and then get it published.

Doesn't seem like much to ask from the 'verse.

So here's us, on the raggedy edge. Waiting for publication. Waiting for a sign. Waiting for vindication.

Waiting is the hardest part.

Decisions, decisions...

I'm guessing I used up all my reading mojo on the five books that I tore through in the last two weeks. I was browsing the shelves today and nothing grabbed my attention.

It's not unusual. That was quite a bit of reading for me at one time.

It didn't used to be. Reading was everything to me. I had numerous books cracked open at the same time.

Now I have guilty feelings if I'm reading and not writing.
Guilty feelings if I'm reading and not spending time with my husband.
Guilty feelings if I'm reading and not helping my five year old become a better reader.

Guilt, guilt, guilt.

But, I did enjoy those books and I won't feel guilty about reading them. (You buying that?)

As for decisions, I do believe that I have come to one. Fascinating, I know. I do think that I will have to/want to rewrite the beginning of Setting the Record Straight.

Since I have had so many rejections for the story and that is the only thing they are asking for, the first 3-5 pages, it must be time to rework them to make them more interesting.

Now, I just have to figure out how to do that. I'll let you know when I do.

This Thursday will be a good day. It will be my one year anniversary of writing this blog. Although I didn't come up with a contest or blogfest I still hope you guys come by to celebrate with me.

Complaint Department is closed for the holiday.

Thanks for listening to me complain...again.

I'm pretty sure that was a bit of anger, depression, jealousy, fear and sorrow all rolled up together there.

I have been reading.

I had bought three used paperbacks from Karen Marie Moning's Fever series. Darkfever, Bloodfever and Faefever. I liked them so I went to the library and grabbed the final two books in the series, Dreamfever and Shadowfever. I have almost finished the last book.

I have very strong feelings about the books from both sides, the writer and the reader.

I'm incredibly jealous as a writer. The books are interesting, entertaining and they so thoroughly hooked me that I'm reading into the wee hours of the morning.

The romance is really secondary to the story which is hard for me, as a reader, but it works for her. 

As usual I empathize more for the male main character than the female. I fall for the gorgeous brooding man all the time. His unspoken heartbreak breaks mine.

Then, while watching an old episode of Bones there is this song at the end of the show that is so haunting and intense that I have to look it up. It's called Low is a Height by Great Northern.

So, now I am obsessed with this eerily captivating song that has become the soundtrack while I'm caught up reading these powerful books about the Fae world with this all-consuming tormented hotness personified guy.

And then, I get yet another rejection email.

I'm not surprised that I whined like a little girl.

Thoughts about my writing are running the gamut. I've thought about re-writing the entire beginning of my finished book (cause that is all the agents/publishers base their decisions on and they apparently hate it) to scrapping the entire idea of ever being published.

I know we all feel this way some times but I'm just befuddled.

It was really cool of you guys to try to break my slump though (even the smacking, Tara!).

I've said it before and I will say it again...this community is really wonderful.

Now...if you guys could just find me a critique partner/beta reader, that doesn't chew me up and spit me out, to tell me if I should go back to learning basket weaving.

Don't laugh...I made that!

Happy Mother's Day.

*facepalm*

I've about fucking had it. Really.

I don't want to be this person. I don't want to bitch constantly. I don't want to be the complainer, the downer.

I don't want to be disappointed all the damn time. 

I am in a sinking circular logic ship and it's going down fast.

I'm frustrated.
I'm such a whiner and I'm so sick of listening to myself.

How the hell do I figure out what to do here? I don't know. I just don't.

I keep telling myself that I should just put it away. I should put the damn book away and just stop pretending.

So, no one wants it. It's not the end of the world, right?

Move on, right?

I tried to work on a second book idea, even a third and fourth.

Fucking stuck...on all of them.

What's the damn problem?

NO self-confidence. None. I don't believe in what I'm writing. I don't believe in what I'm doing.

Have we had this conversation before? Yep.

Anything getting better? Nope.

Pop quiz hot shot...

If (insert any number of publisher names here) says that to submit your novel it must be 70K words through 120K and a novella must be 20K to 40K and your finished work sits smack in the middle of those at 55K what would you do?

May 2 - 2011 Blogging from A to Z Challenge Reflections Mega Post

Proud moment.

 

I like the word finished.

Let's see...

I posted every day of April but one.

One day I did post twice.

I gained over 50 new followers! HELLO!

My all-time most read post - C is for Chocolate.

I have met some great new friends and read some amazing posts. There is so much talent out there and I'm so glad I got to see some of it and share experiences with people from all over this globe.

Thank you to our wonderful Blog Hosts for all of their hard work and attention:

Arlee Bird's Tossing It Out 

Jeffrey Beesler's World of the Scribe 

Alex J. Cavanaugh Alex J. Cavanaugh 

Jen Daiker's Unedited 

Candace Ganger's The Misadventures in Candyland

Karen J Gowen at Coming Down the Mountain 

Talli Roland 

Stephen Tremp's Breakthrough Blogs

I had a great time with all of you and although I will be going back to my regular schedule of only blogging when I have something that I need to get off my chest I do hope that you will hang around to see what I might spill next.

No matter how down I may get or how disillusioned I may become I always have that tiny hope that just the right person will see what I have written and want to help me get to the next level.

So, cheers to all of us that made it and thanks to all of you that kept me going.

From Author Elizabeth Mueller!

---------------- 

One final note: I would like to extend a sincere and heartfelt thank you to our US Armed Forces for never wavering in their conviction to fight terrorism no matter who was signing their orders. Thank you for your sacrifice and thank you for making our lives better and safer each and every day.

To all the families that lost loved ones to terrorism I hope May 1, 2011 will grant you some peace.