To share or not to share...

Erggg. Arggg.


So, feeling better today. Well, mentally, not physically. My son decided to share his cold with me so I am busy trying to fight that off. So far just annoying not evil.
But, I'm feeling better about writing. Mostly because of the blogfest I ran into the other day. Just when I thought I had run out of writing mojo I felt compelled to write that paragraph.
I'm not sure it's enough mojo to write a whole chapter right now but it was enough to remind me that I didn't choose to write stories, I just write them.
I didn't say to myself one day 'hey, I want to be a writer and get rejected all the time on my quest to be published', I just felt the need to write.
I'm not an amazing writer but I think that I am a good writer.
I may never be a best-selling author but that was never my intention anyway.
Getting published just seemed like the next step.
Self publishing is always an option but it could be really complicated.
I have been thinking about posting chapters of the book on this blog. I could go through each chapter again, read it, edit it and then post it.
It's a risk. Opening myself to criticism but also to helpful comments.
I mean what is the purpose of continuing in any way if I don't share? What is the purpose of having that damn book if no one reads it?

So, what do you guys think? Would you like to read about Colin and Riley?

Now Showing Blogfest

Ran across the Now Showing Blogfest this morning.

I chose: S/he cried. 

Her eyes were hot, her unshed tears making them heavy, but not before she was finally alone did she allow herself to fold. Sinking to the cold basement floor, her black satin dress pooling around her legs, her sorrow spilled forth on silent sobs. Wrapping her arms around her body she waited for the pain to stop, so engulfed in her grief, she never heard him come in.

[insert sad dramatic music here]

Bad week all around.

Carina Press responded by email today.

Thanks but no thanks.

I find it slightly disturbing that I heard from both HQN and Carina in the same week and neither branch wants my little story.

Harsh.

Yes, my ego is completely deflated.
Yes, I'm feeling like a complete hack.
Yes, my life sucketh.

No, I don't know what I'm going to do next. 
No, I don't think I will send this book out again.
No.

A glitch in the matrix.

True story:

I walk to the mailbox yesterday and find my own SASE sitting on top of the other mail.

It takes me a moment to recall where I might have sent one that I would be expecting one back.

Well, really, the only one I sent was with my submission to HQN Blaze back in June of 2010. 

But, here is the rub...I already received a 'no thanks' letter back from them in October of 2010.

Confused? Let's see if I can clear it up some.

I'm not sure where my submission has been all this time but I originally mailed it to NYC but never heard from anyone. I called NYC and they told me to call Canada. I called Canada they didn't know where it was and asked me to email my submission. I got a letter back saying no thank you and now my original submission has just come back from Canada.

To make a long story short...too late...they don't want my book either.

I get that I'm supposed to be 'pleased' that someone took the time to write me a letter with some personal feedback, but not when it couldn't possibly pertain to my story.

I'm not trying to be evil here, but how can they write that my story doesn't have a 'sexy hook' when all they read was a two page synopsis?

[pause for effect]

I just went back to read my synopsis. They're right, I didn't write a sexy synopsis.

But that doesn't mean the book isn't sexy!

In fact, I'm starting to wonder if my book is even a romance novel.

It's got romance. It's got sex. It's got drama and tension and humor. But it also has a little violence and a hostage situation.

I don't freakin' know. I just don't know.

On another note...read this post yesterday.

Why your novel won't get published by terribleminds.

Very funny and true and rude and blunt. Not for the faint of heart.

I did write briefly the other day. It felt pretty good. Hopefully there is a break in my future. 

Anything but writing...

First blog of 2011. Let's see. I should write something inspiring. Full of hope and renewed optimism. Something worthy of that crisp white page.

F*ck.

I got nothing.

Nothing for either of my two current books I should be working on either.

I am so blank. Blankety, blankety blank.

No words, no thoughts, no ideas, no plots = no romance.

I know it's just temporary. I know it will come back. Probably just burned out from the end of 2010. 

Need a brain refresh and some iron supplements. STAT!

"Here, take a cookie. I promise, by the time you're done eating it, you'll feel right as rain."  (Matrix)

So, I just need to keep moving forward and hope for the best. 


If Carina Press is still working on time, even with all the holidays, I should be getting word within the next two weeks. 


Really wish I had won that Mega Millions Jackpot so I had something to fall back on if I hear bad news.


It would be great if they sent me some feedback but we will just have to wait it out.


Anyone want to share an picture of their Christmas tree?

2010 Christmas Tree