Friday, August 20, 2010

Uncertainty raises its ugly head.

I hate feeling like this.
I hate not knowing what to do.
I want to continue my story. I even have the new direction that I was looking for.
But then that little nagging voice in my head says:
Why bother spending all that time writing if no one is ever going to read it? (except for a select few)
Why bother writing it if no one will ever publish it?
Why invest the energy knowing I won't ever make a dime?
Why waste valuable time, I should be spending with my family, on some dumb story?
Then I talk to one of the select few, who I have let read the first 100 pages or so, and he says: Where's the rest?
It's so frustrating?
I'm so tired.
I'm hoping this is just hormonal.

5 comments:

  1. Correction: Not published yet. There is still hope. You might still get published. Don't give up trying though.

    This is a tough business and like my brother always tells me "Nothing worth having is ever obtained easily''.

    You are truly a talented writer. Please don't lose confidence in yourself. Hang in there, tough it out.

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  2. I know this might be one of those "it's easy for you to say" statements, but, If you are only writing to try and get published, you are writing for the wrong reasons. Yes, every writer, regardless of what they say - wants to be published. It's the brass ring - the prize. But I doubt that you sat down one day and said "Hmm, maybe I should be published." Doubtful, right? There is always a reason we sit down to write for the first time and I feel quite certain that it had nothing at all to do with getting published. Think back to that very first time and ask yourself "why did I do it?"

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  3. Murees - Thanks. I know you are right.

    Wendy - Did I start writing to get published? No. I had stories in my head I had to get out. But that was a long time ago. Trying to justify to myself the amount of time I spend writing as opposed to doing everything else I should be doing is getting harder and harder. Without that brass ring at the end of the tunnel I don't know why I'm still doing it.
    But...
    I'm sure I will feel different about it in a few days when I have all this stuff in my head that must come out.

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  4. Take a break and do something nice for yourself if you need it. Most of us writers would love the publication, but really the writing does something for us on a visceral level. What you're feeling is universal. We all feel for you, and if any of us haven't felt this, too, then that writer hasn't started the journey to publication yet or just has no soul :)

    To heck with this bad day, darn it! It will pass and you'll get that itch to write even more. Hang in there.

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  5. Angela - Thank you. Excellent advice.

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