Monday, June 27, 2011

A Fine Line

Had a chat with a male friend this weekend about the fine line between romance and erotica. 

He is well aware that I write books but I think he assumed I wrote sweet romance.

I assured him that I did not.

He then jumped from sweet right to erotica.

The conversation rolled quickly downhill.

Whoa! What about romance? What about having sex in a story without it sounding like a badly written letter to Penthouse Forums?

He didn't get it.

We discussed at length the wording differences between romance sex and erotica sex.

For him it was either all or...well...all.

For me it was writing what I was comfortable with.

I enjoy reading erotica but deep down (actually, not that deep) I'm just a prude.

I blush just thinking about writing it.

I blush even more thinking about someone I might know reading it.


I'm just always blushing! 

And yes, my own sex scenes make me blush but only while I'm writing them.  ;)

To make a long story short...too was good to get another point of view, especially a male point of view, about what he perceived was between the pages.

A quick thank you to Tara at Tara Tyler Talks for saying such nice things about me today!

So, anyone else NOT at the Romance Writers of America convention in NYC?


  1. 1) i'm with you blushing. i get flustered at a kissing scene! the romance with tension is the best part =)
    2) you are so welcome!
    3) when you find that book about not being a psycho parent fanatic, let me know! i'm so loud & full of advice and not afraid to use it (my kids don't like to sit by me...) but it's all positive =)

  2. Had to come over and check out your blog on Tara's recommendation. Glad I did, you have a terrific wit and great writing style.

    As for the subject matter of this post, I am one of those "inferior genders," so I will simply plead the Fifth. And the Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth, too.

  3. I was like you in the beginning. I didn't mind reading about sex but forget writing about it. I didn't even let my characters kiss!

    I think the turning point for me was participating in the monthly prompt on an erotic writing forum. It was kind of fun and (more importantly) no one knew who I was. ;-)

    Now I'm a lot more comfortable letting my characters do what comes naturally. It gets easier with practice. LOL

  4. I get asked what kind of romance I write all the time and the question is usually accompanied by some quick eyebrow raising. I usually just laugh, like you I blush when the sex seen is innocent enough, can't imagine writing erotica.

  5. Tara - Maybe we need to write the book!

    Bryce - Thank you! But remember without the 'inferior gender' I wouldn't be writing romance at all so you are most welcome to share your comments!

    Carol - It does get easier with practice ... on paper too!

    Jessica - It doesn't help that I always answer 'I write smut'. I'm always surprised how many people don't know what that is!

    Thanks for stopping in everyone!

  6. I don't write romance of any kind, so no conference for me. And I understand the difference between romance with sex and erotica. Just in case you needed another man's perspective.

  7. Alex - Always! Excellent male perspective from you! Thank you!

  8. Anytime you have explicit sex scenes, that erotica—where the story revolves around doing the deed!
    Romance revolves around love and of course ROMANCE, it’s about caring, sharing and most of all a personal closeness sex can’t duplicate.

  9. You're not alone, Heather. I'm not at RWA either. We might be the only two!

    It's interesting to get your friend's perspective. Kind of all or nothing, eh? Interesting...

  10. One of my first critique partners, a very young college student, told me the last love scene in my manuscript was pornographic. Silly young thing, I said, it's not pornographic, it's erotic! Still, I had to change it. It's much better now. Tame but sweet.

    (I found you through Bryce Daniels and thought I'd follow you around, if you don't mind.)

  11. Jeff - Yes. You have it down pretty good. I would expect nothing less.

    Liz - I know. I'm only like an hour and a half from the city and here I sit in my living room. Oh well. One day I will be able to afford it.

    Nancy - Ah. Porn. As my husband would say...all the good stuff and none of that talking crap.
    Welcome. I certainly would never mind a new stalker!



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