Sunday, November 11, 2012

So here is us, on the raggedy edge.

I was so sure this time.
I daydreamed about my upcoming fame.
I had a great big smile on my face for days on end. 

But, nothing came. It was one day past the contest announcement day.
Two days.

On the fourth day, Twitter exploded, my new contest friends twittering that the winners had been announced.

Before I even saw the names I knew it wasn't me because I hadn't been contacted.


It's painful but survivable. I'm not going to fold on one contest.

They keep saying even if you don't get picked for the top three, watch your email. Some of the contest editors may decide to publish anyway.

So, I went to check. I opened my email with a sense of anticipation instead of trepidation. And there it was. An email from the contest.

A rejection email.

The thanks but no thanks email.

It just shouldn't bother me that much. It just shouldn't.

I'm stunned. I'm exposed. Hollowed out. Moments from losing my cool.

And I know all the right things to do and say. I've heard them. I've said them. 

It's just one publisher. 
Don't give up.
Keep writing.
Keep pushing forward.
One publisher's rejection is another publisher's acceptance.
[insert famous author's name here] was rejected X number of times before they were picked up.
Grow thicker skin.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

This sucks.
This *&^%$#@ sucks.

I thought it was my turn.

But, its not.

It's painful to go on Twitter and see all the other participants getting picked up or having their full manuscripts requested. I'm happy for them. I try to send positive thoughts their way. 

I've kept it to myself for days but I just need to talk it out. That's what this blog has always been about for me.

A place I don't need permission to write what I want or how I want to write it.

Now, don't worry. I'm just a bit melodramatic right now. It'll pass. I need to get back to pissed off. Back to my normal even keel of fuck'em if they can't take a joke self.

Meanwhile, since in IRL I don't smoke any more and rarely drink, cause I have poor self-control, who wants to get virtually drunk and light up with me?


  1. I'll lift a few virtual Coronas for you.
    It does suck. I'm sorry you weren't one of those chosen. But you may have been edged out by just one spot, which means you were that close.
    Which means you shouldn't give up.
    And we won't let you!

  2. Light one up, baby! I'm there. I totally understand your grief. Been there. Done that. But like Alex said, don't give up. It's way too early. In the mean time, find more CPs, let 'me at it, then revise, revise, revise! That's what it takes. Believe me. The only difference between the published & unpublished is perseverence. Never give up. And stop bogarting that doob!

  3. Heather,I am so so sorry. Last week when I was watching The Voice, Christine Aguelera said to a contestant who was being eliminated, "Just remember, I never won a contest when I was starting out and look at me now."

  4. Who wanted to win their icky-pooh contest anyway.
    I am terribly disappointed b/c I am sure you were gonna have me do the chapter page illustrations- little bits of lace, hearts, ribbon, and a gun or two peeking out between the little roses.

    I believe in you.

  5. Heather, I'm sorry you weren't one of the ones chosen to win the contest. Don't give up.

  6. Thanks for the kind words everyone.

  7. hang in there boo boo!
    one down, tons more to try next! maybe you arent ready for all that fame yet =)

    and very happy you arent giving up! here's to you, cookie!

  8. ps, dont go away & dont ever change! i'd miss you!

  9. Here from the blogfest! I'm sorry, it does suck the wind out of your sails! Hang on...and keep going! You could be this close to the door opening...don't shut it now!

    It wasn't your turn, but that doesn't mean it won't happen...put down the cig and go walk, run..scream into the wind and then come back and try, try again :D

  10. I'm so sorry. I know how that sucky let down, rejection thing feels . . .but I know you can make it. Like Ella said, go screm into the wing and then come back to the desk and make it happen!
    I don't drink IRL either, but I'll take a virtual tequila shot and toast you for your determination!

  11. I stopped by to see your "Oh How I Miss You" entry, but I missed it. Or should I say I guess you missed it--so far at least.

    Anyway, most of us probably get more rejections in life than acceptances. It's okay. The acceptances are like gold worth treasuring and the rejections are autumn leaves raked into a pile. Jump in, before you discard them. Crunch, crunch, crunch.

    Tossing It Out


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