Found this Blogfest this morning and worked on my story all day in between wiping the kid's nose and shoveling snow and fetching coffee for the husband. Needs some polishing, I admit it, but I wanted to get mine in before time was up!
“Happy birthday, Caine,” the bartender said and set down another full glass of beer in front of him.
He had yet to finish his second and now he was two behind.
“What’s so happy about it?”
“You’re breathing, right?”
“For the moment.”
“There you go, glass half full.”
Caine didn’t argue the point further. He knew better. Frank had truck loads of bartenderisms and optimism that he loved to share with his customers. Caine sipped his beer wondering what the second half of his day might bring. Something bad always happened on his birthday.
His mother would say that was the day she had been cursed with him. He didn’t know what his father would say. He had never met him. He wasn’t sure his mother would know the guys name or even what he looked like. Apparently he had been conceived in a drunken haze in the back seat of an abandoned car.
Being a cop Caine had seen his fair share of misery. Being a werewolf he had seen just about everything else. But his birthday never failed to bring him more grief. Sometimes the weather went all crazy. Sometimes it was people. Sometimes it was the whole universe.
It seemed to be worse on the sevens. His seventh birthday a tornado ripped through the trailer park where he lived with his mother and destroyed every home. On his fourteenth birthday the principal of his high school set the school on fire with all the kids still inside. On his twenty-first, a solar eclipse changed him for the first time from human to werewolf.
Today was his twentieth-eighth. So far, it had been quiet but when his cell phone rang he had a feeling that was about to change.
“Shaw,” he answered.
“It’s Douglas. I need to see you.”
“Captain, it’s my day off.”
“I know that. Just come down to my office.”
“I’ve had a few rounds.”
“Get a cab.”
The line went dead in his ear and he slid his phone shut. The other beers waiting for him silently mocked him. If he had turned off his phone he would be enjoying those instead of leaving them behind.
In twenty minutes he was across town and knocking on his boss’s door. He opened it to find Captain Douglas sitting at his desk across from a very large man.
“Sorry Captain, I’ll come back,” Caine said.
“Come in Lieutenant. This gentleman has come to see you.”
“Why? What’s up?”
The man stood and towered over the Captain but he wasn’t much bigger than Caine himself. When he turned Caine tried to hide his shock. If he had ever wanted to see himself ten years in the future this was his opportunity.
“Because, I’m your uncle, Ian McGrath.”
“I’m going to give you guys a few minutes to talk,” Captain Douglas said and walked out of the office closing the door behind him.
“Don’t you want to know why I’m here, Lieutenant?”
“Because it’s my birthday," Caine said.
“Twenty-eight today, yes?”
“It’s time to bring you home to your family.”
“I don’t have a family.”
“I understand your mother passed on a few years ago. I’m sorry.”
“She drank herself to death. No one was sorry.”
“There is no doubt that you and your mother were served a raw deal. But, now it’s time to bring you home. There are people you need to meet. Things you need to be told.”
“You’re a few years late.”
“We just found out about you.”
“There is a lot we need to talk about.”
Caine sighed. “Look, you don’t have to be all mysterious. I already know what I am.”
“Maybe what, but not who. Or, is it whom? I never get that right.”
“Is that your opinion or fact?”
“Fine. Your father is dying.”
“Don’t care,” Caine said and turned towards the office door.
“When he does, you will be the next in line.”
“That’s fine, but I have to warn you. While you are still alive no one else will be allowed to be pack leader. And a group without a leader is very dangerous.”
“While I’m still alive?”
“Let’s just say that anyone who wants the job will be coming here to kill you.”
“Great. Best birthday ever.”
I'm seeing a "Characters Welcome" series in your future :).ReplyDelete
I can picture a cop kicking in a door after hearing a scream in a low rent apartment where he was trying to interview neighbors after a grisly murder. The door flies open and the murder is in the entryway tucked behind a struggling hostage. As Caine is yelling "Drop it!" He hears a low growl from behind cut to a pov shot from the hostage of his Caine, blue eyes turning yellow as an out of focus pointy eared shadow rises behind him. Cut to Title Sequence. Quick cuts of moon time lapse through phases as Show title dissolves up... "Caine Ascending ".
Wow! This is a good start!! I can feel the grittiness of it. Am intrigued to learn more about these characters! Pretty good for one afternoon, Heather. :)ReplyDelete
Brilliant. Well done. Neat casual lead through past experieces and a serious cliffhanger. Fab piece of writing! ;)
i'm not usually a werewolf story person, but this one has me wanting more. great tenion.ReplyDelete
btw, i think scrapbooking would be easier too, but fool that i am, i keep writing. i put up a post about this you might be interested in--
btw, i'm following, but my picture won't show up. nice blogger glitch.ReplyDelete
Loved it! You really have a talent Heather. Don't let anyone ever tell you different. I can't wait for you to be published so that I can read some more.ReplyDelete
Nice! A good start, getting the stakes right out there in front. Well done.ReplyDelete
I wanted to read your piece, but there's something screwy with the colors. It's all blacked out and your text doesn't show up.ReplyDelete
Take a look at your settings.
I found a way to read it by hilighting the text with my cursor. Anyhoo, I like the tension! And the mystery. News like that always sets the reader up for a wild ride. Nice post.
Thank you all for such great comments! It was so nice to read them all today.ReplyDelete
Marc - I was right there with you. Too funny. Thanks for coming in and working on the 'pilot'!
Liz - Thank you. I hesitated to even post this with one days work but I'm so glad I shared it.
Francine - Thanks so much! Very kind words.
Michelle - It's the first time I have ever written 'werewolf' in anything. It just popped out and then I let it sit there a while and it seemed to work. Stepping over to the paranormal side of writing is daunting. I'll have to think on it some. Thanks for stopping in.
Murees - Thank you for your positive feedback. It always helps.
Delia - Thank you. With such a short word count required it helps pinpoint what needs to be said and what doesn't. Thanks for coming.
Christopher - So sorry you had an issue. It seems to be working currently. Glad you were able to read it. Thanks for commenting.
First, thank you so much for joining in my Birthday Bash! Sorry I'm so late commenting, I partied a bit much on friday and then I had a Ball (the old-fashioned kind) last night.
Second, I LOVE werewolves, so this is a PERFECT story for me. And even if he weren't a were, this is a GREAT excerpt, smoothly flowing narrative and a fascinating MC. If this is a WIP of yours, I wanna read it!!!! And if it isn't, I hope it will be, coz it sounds great!
OH that dreaded game of alcohol catch-up haha This was REALLY interesting. I'm curious how he's going to outrun those in the "pack" who'd like to be leader. And I'm wondering if this means werewolves?! I'd love to read more something :) Great job (AND great dialogue--almost forgot to mention) and thank you for sharing!ReplyDelete
Tessa - I appreciate that you gave us the opportunity and the challenge! Thank you for your compliments. Caine is starting to grow on me and I might have to write some more about him.ReplyDelete
Jessica - I'm so glad you found it interesting. I really don't know where I'm going with it...yet! So many kind compliments that I may have to dwell on it a little longer. Thanks for stopping in.
Great dialogue! Well done, I really enjoyed reading your piece here. ;)ReplyDelete
Talei - That is very kind of you to say! Thanks for coming in to read it.ReplyDelete
You must develop this! You know enough about paranormal stuff you can create the world you want - I bet you even already have created it in that head of yours. I want to learn more - I love big, strong, and yes, even hairy, men!! :-DReplyDelete
Katie/Anon - I thought you were on Team Edward?ReplyDelete
We shall see. Caine is growing on me.