Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Part 2 of 2 - Removed by HMGardner

Removed by HMGardner


  1. Hi Heather, I hope you don't mind me commenting, I followed you over from the find a crit partner thread.

    I read your previous post about your new crit partner and I read your partner's comments above.

    First of all (((hugs))) if this is your first real crit. It can be hard to put our babies up for scrutiny. I remember that feeling.

    But secondly, I wanted to point out (and I'm typing this in my nicest tone of voice) I think your CP made some really valid observations about your work.

    It's hard to not take criticism personally, but I always tell myself, tough crits make me a better writer. This person didn't seem to bash you personally, or even bash your work. He/she just pointed out areas for improvement.

    My advice is when you find a partner who can give you honest, constructive feedback hold onto them, they're like gold.

    Have you tried receiving any crits from writing forums like Absolute Write or Romance Divas? I would go over to those sites and see the crits that are given to other people and you might feel better about yours. I got a hard one at Divas recently, and it stung for a day or too, but in the end it will help me to improve my work, so I'm happy to have gotten it.

    Sometimes people get really nasty in their crits, but I don't think your partner did that.

    But whatever you do, don't give up. A favorite quote of mine is "The difference between a professional writer and an amateur is the professional didn't give up."

    So dust yourself off, get back up, and revise your work. You can do it!

    Ok, that's my pep talk for the evening.

    Good luck with your writing. :)
    Joy G.

    PS- in general, you shouldn't post work to your blog that you might want to publish, b/c publishers might consider it 'previously published' if it's been online. You probably won't have problems with this WIP since it's a rough draft, but keep that in mind for the future.

  2. Hi,

    Gawd, this going to sound like criticism!! ;)

    It's not meant that way I assure you.

    Black text on the blog with pinkish background is really hard to read - more especially "highlighted" purple/turquoise.

    Silver grey text or CREAM would really stand out and be much easier on the eye!

    Critique comments - some very valid ones, but like I said before read published works, and I don't mean just read, analyse the first few paras of a book: what drives the story, what's motivating the characters, and look at the breakdown of text per action input.


  3. Hello Joy. I'm glad to have you visit. Thanks for the support and advice.
    I understand that her critique is valid. The problem isn't that she is right or wrong. The problem is if I want to write in a 'publishable manner', which is what she is trying to point out, that I would have to change everything about my writing. That in order to make this story 'credible' that I would have to destroy it.
    The problem is I don't know if I am ready, willing or able to do it.
    I love to write, but I didn't go to school for it. I didn't take any classes. I didn't read any books on creative writing. I'm not sure I can do it all now.
    Thanks again for stopping by.

    Great point about the Font color. I changed it to a cream color and it's much easier to read now.
    Thanks for your advice too.

  4. Great job Heather!

    I personally didn't mind the amount of narrative.

    But if you want to please the critics then the only change I would suggest would be to move the dialogue with Riley to somewhere on the first page (Just that part of “Well, well, well. The infamous Colin Campbell graces us with his glorious presence'') and then explain the history of how she started hating Colin. But other then the reshuffling don't change anything else in my opinion. I like it as is, so if you don't want to change it don't.

    I know why your narrative on the first page is 1 page long. It sets a certain mood and it gives the first scene a specific feel as well. That's why the length of it didn't bother me.

    I am of no use in the technical department sorry. But if you want to use a semi-colon, then use it. It's your writing and most importantly, you have to be happy with it.

    Be proud of yourself. You did a very good job.


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