Monday, July 26, 2010

Swimming to the surface

Once again I would like to thank all of you for your support, your kind words and advice.

When I started this blog I wanted it to be only about ...well...writing.

My journey from the words: The End to signing my name at the bottom of a publishing contract.

Since nothing has been happening on the writing front for days and days, I haven't been here either.

I forced myself to sit down and read the book I am currently trying to write the other day. I still like it. I still like the characters and where they are headed.

I didn't add anything yet.

I mostly just see what might be wrong with it.

And really, I don't want to be that kind of writer. I don't always want to look at technique and usage.

I won't have any fun that way.

It's been a struggle. A struggle to give myself permission to still write even though it won't be for publication. A struggle to accept that I will not be an author, just a writer. A struggle to let go of the dream of writing full time to make my living.

So, I have been sad long enough. I have to be done with the self pity cause it's just too hard. I don't want to be this person who is upset all the time. I don't want to be the writer with a bunch of unfinished ideas.

I want to write.
I want to have fun with my stories and characters.
I want to send parts out to my best buds and get those great emails back saying, where is the next 80 pages!

I want to feel good about my writing again.

If I look up I can clearly make out the surface and I am going to swim as hard as I can to break through.

I have to do it.

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