Thursday, October 7, 2010

It's all making sense now.

When I was a teenager I had a hard time.
My life was cake compared to some people and worse than others.
I've always been a middle of the road kinda gal.

I hated school. Hated homework. Hated teachers. Hated the other kids. Hated me. Hated my life.

In order to escape my dull, uninteresting, hateful life, I created stories, mostly in my head, but sometimes I wrote them down.

It was usually about me meeting an awesome famous guy and being whisked away to a more glamorous life. 
Rock stars.

It didn't matter.

So, it makes sense that when I am feeling low, unloved and bi-polar, that I would write more. In the last 2 days I think I have written almost 15 pages. That may not seem like much, but for me to crank out in 2 days, it's a lot. Granted, most of it is dialogue, and pretty rough, but still very important to the plot.

It's a sucky way to write though. I don't like feeling like that. 
But, what are you gonna do? 
You have to go where the muse takes you I suppose.


  1. Did you read a lot of Jackie Collins when you were younger? She fueled my addiction to being whisked away by an a show stopper. sigh!

  2. Actually I've never read hers. Just always wanted to date the guys in the band!

  3. I wrote a story in high school where I was whisked away as the arm-candy for a wrestling duo I was in love with, and they liked me even being short, a bit chubby, not very attractive to myself but for them I worked. It was a thrill to write!

    And now it seems kind of silly, but how is what I'm writing any different? I ALWAYS put myself in the place of the heroines I'm writing (sometimes the heroes as well) and imagine "What would it be like if this were me?"

    I had a rough childhood. I was teased and taunted and had few true friends. Writing was my escape from that, and to this day I still find I write best when I'm feeling lonely or down on myself! And it never fails to make me feel loads better.

    Haha. By the way, the word verification is "horney."

  4. Renee - Thanks for sharing that. I feel the same way. It does make me feel better. Seeing the words on paper. Seeing the pages fill up. Seeing the story come to life. Too bad we have to feel like crap to get there.

  5. From someone who felt the same way but couldn't write, my escape was reading. Thank you all for writing so this awkward teenager (and now awkward adult) can escape too!

  6. Writing is a means to an end for me. Yes, I may feel crappy when I begin writing, but getting the words on the page is my therapy, and I feel accomplished from doing so. It's a lose-win-win situation I suppose.

  7. Hey, Ymous, you are anything but awkward. I admire you so much. Oh, and you are my biggest fan!

    Renee - Lose-win-win, huh? I guess we can live with that.


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